


Valcille Oneshots based on Leonie Elliott's Instagram Captions

by Wandering_Words



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Journalism, Alternate Universe - March/April 2020, Astrology, Bad Boy/Geek trope but not really, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, F/F, First Dates, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Letters, Lucille is a bisexual icon, New Year's Fluff, Rum and hot chocolate, Sharing a Bed, Three of these are alternate Christmas Special endings, Trixie is the gay best friend, Valerie is really gay, an ode to season 7 when Valcille had just begun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28685940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wandering_Words/pseuds/Wandering_Words
Summary: Leonie Elliott has some good one word/emoji captions that I turned into a variety of Valcille oneshots. Some of them have spoilers for the Christmas special, so I'll let you know in the notes if there are spoilers.I will link pictures if I can: Leonie Elliott deletes pictures and changes captions frequently, so I'll do my best to keep up.Updated every Sunday until I run out of captions.
Relationships: Lucille Anderson & Cyril Robinson, Lucille Anderson/Valerie Dyer, Valerie Dyer & Trixie Franklin
Kudos: 16





	1. Golden Girl / 👽

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This first chapter is my take on the bad boy/geek trope. 
> 
> This picture's original caption was "Golden Girl" before being switched to the alien emoji and then was completely deleted from her Instagram so unfortunately I have nothing to link.

Valerie wasn’t sure why she was considered to be a player at all. Sure, she looked the part with her light blue 1955 Thunderbird convertible, motorcycle jacket, and a smirk that made all of the girls at school swoon, but she had no desire to play anyone. 

Besides, if she brought a different girl to her bed every night, she was sure that her aunt would have a heart attack. Patsy and Delia teased her constantly about it, saying that she could have her pick of any of the queer girls at school, but Valerie didn’t want just any girl. 

There was a girl who sat at the front of her math class. Valerie noticed that her attire tended to be more on the conservative side: she wore turtleneck sweaters, skirts that fell just below the knee, or a bright yellow sundress that made her shine brighter than drops of sunlight gleaming off ripples of a pond. The dress was Valerie’s favorite outfit of hers, and every time the girl wore it, Valerie swooned. 

Valerie was pretty sure this girl had a boyfriend, but she wasn’t sure if that meant that she was straight or bisexual. Anyway, even if she was straight, it wouldn’t hurt to admire her from afar. She was really smart and one of the teacher’s favorite students, even though she didn’t participate much and was more reserved. 

“Why don’t you just talk to her?” Her other friend, Trixie, asked her, raising an eyebrow at Valerie’s staring. 

Everyone liked to joke that Trixie and Valerie were the school’s power couple with Trixie as the fashionista and Valerie as the bad boy, but Trixie and Valerie weren’t interested in each other romantically. A year or so ago at a party they were dared to kiss each other, but neither girl felt anything from it. 

And thank god for that, Valerie thought, because Trixie gave way better relationship advice when she was bitter and single. 

“Talk to her? Why would I do that? Trix, she has a boyfriend,” Valerie said, and Trixie merely clucked her tongue and shook her head. 

“Lucille broke up with Cyril ages ago. Well, a week ago but she ended it,” Trixie replied, and Valerie just looked at her friend incredulously. How did Trixie know so much about this girl anyway? 

“How do you know so much about Lucille?” Valerie asked, and while pretending to take notes, Trixie responded. 

“I don’t, but I know her ex-boyfriend. Cyril and I take religion together, and he’s a good note taker. Usually he lets me just copy his notes because I can’t be bothered to pay attention in that class. Anyway, I asked about Lucille and he told me that she ended it. She said, and I quote, ‘it doesn’t feel right.’” 

Valerie ruminated on that conversation with Trixie for so long that when the teacher called on her to answer a question, she was completely lost. 

“Miss Dyer? What’s the value of x?” The teacher asked, her voice bored and monotone. 

“Huh?” Valerie said, and she flushed in embarrassment as she noticed different students in the class whispering behind their hands and sneering in her direction. 

Lucille rolled her eyes and answered for her. “It’s 37, ma’am,” she said, shooting a disapproving look at Valerie. That made the whole situation so much worse, and even Trixie’s face was full of shock, her eyebrows raised and her mouth parted slightly. 

Then she smiled widely and clasped her hands together. “That’s it! Valerie, I know how to help you talk to her.” 

As the bell screeched, students began making their way out of the classroom in waves. Lucille was usually one of the last students to pack up, and Valerie took this as an opportunity to talk to her. 

“Hey, Lucille, right?” Valerie asked tentatively, and Lucille looked up at her with a frown. 

“Yeah… and you’re Valerie Dyer,” She said, and Valerie nodded, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck nervously. Then she spoke, unable to take the silence that began to form between them.

“Listen, I don’t understand any of this. I know you’re good at this kind of stuff, and I was wondering if you could help me?” Valerie felt almost silly at the amount of hope laden in her voice, but Lucille sighed as if in resignation. 

“Sure. Meet me in the library during lunch, I’ll try my best to help you,” Lucille said, looking her up and down with confusion and trepidation, then she slung her book bag over her shoulder and headed to her next class. 

As Valerie left the class slightly dejected, she spotted Trixie, and the two of them just smiled. Trixie was standing so close to the door that Valerie knew Trixie had heard everything.

It seemed that Valerie actually had a chance with her, even if she seemed hesitant to work with her. 

When lunch came, Valerie found herself tense with anxiety. Her shoulders were tensed, and her palms were sweatier than they had been in a long time. Valerie rubbed her hands together in an effort to quell the sweating, but it didn’t seem to be working. 

As she entered the library, she found Lucille tucked away in the back corner of the nonfiction section reading. 

“Hey,” Valerie said, and Lucille looked up at her, giving her a half-smile that made Valerie’s insides twist nervously. 

“Hey,” she responded, pulling a chair for Valerie right next to hers. 

Valerie didn’t know how she’d be able to concentrate on math sitting so close to Lucille, whose subtle perfume smelled of lavender and whose shy smile made Valerie melt into a puddle. 

“So what parts of the lesson do you have trouble with?” 

The time went by fairly quickly; Lucille was able to fill Valerie in on what happened during the math class that Valerie missed, and Valerie was shocked at how quickly and easily she was able to learn the content. Math wasn’t Valerie’s strong suit, and it usually took a lot more practice for Valerie to understand something. Yet she wanted to see Lucille again, and if math was the only way for them to meet, then so be it. 

“Same time tomorrow?” Valerie asked hopefully as the bell rang, and Lucille smiled that shy smile again. 

“Okay.” 

They met up almost every day for two weeks, and it had gone from math help to talking about almost everything and nothing. Valerie learned that Lucille had spent most of her childhood in Jamaica and immigrated a couple of years ago. She also learned that Lucille loved to read, nonfiction specifically. There was something so captivating about other people’s stories, Lucille said, and Valerie agreed. 

Meanwhile, Lucille learned that underneath the leather jacket and confidence was a sweet girl with a heart of gold She also learned that Valerie loved to just drive and feel the wind on her face because it made her feel free. 

“Valerie?” Lucille asked one lunchtime, and Valerie looked up at her attentively, her salad-filled fork halfway to her mouth. “Why me? You could’ve chosen anyone to help you with math or to spend time with during lunch.” 

Valerie didn’t say anything for a few moments, putting her fork down and wondering how she could best approach this. Her crush on Lucille hadn’t gone away at all, if anything, it had been amplified as she kept learning more and more about this wonderful girl. 

But as Trixie always said, honesty was the best policy, and it seemed that it was time for Valerie to be honest. 

“I like you, Lucille. I’ve liked you since I saw you first walk into my math class last semester. And now that I’ve gotten to know you, I like you even more than I did a couple weeks ago.” Valerie blurted before she could stop herself. 

Lucille looked shocked for a minute, her eyes wide in surprise, but then her face flushed and she smiled widely. 

“I like you too.” 

Valerie moved her chair closer to Lucille’s, slipping a hand past the tender flesh of her neck and tangling her fingers in Lucille’s hair. Her other hand rested lightly on Lucille’s cheek, and then she pressed her lips lightly against Lucille’s. 

Lucille rested her hands on the folds of Valerie’s jacket to pull her closer, and Valerie smiled against Lucille’s lips, enjoying the taste of Lucille against her mouth. 

Everything was just as Valerie imagined, and she was excited to finally be with the girl she’s wanted for ages.


	2. 🦋✨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my personal ode to the beginning of season 7 of Call the Midwife when Valcille first began. 
> 
> Link to the picture: https://www.instagram.com/p/B6n5U2fgtGo/?igshid=12rix4krg2bmv

Valerie Dyer lived her life in shades of gray. 

Logically, she knew the sky was a brilliant shade of blue and the sun shone a warm yellow on her face, never failing to make her face look like the ripe skin of a peach, however, the faint memories of her life so far had been strung in light gray. 

Her time in the army was more like the color of a stone wet by running water, and memories with her gran were pewter. Her time spent working at the Black Sail was a faded and uninspired grey, which is how Valerie felt every day as she trudged to the bar to clean tables and served down-on-their-luck dock workers, a shell of the person she once was and stuck living a life she didn’t want. 

Valerie only noticed one color because it made the memories bearable. The less color and detail her memories had, the better. But there was one color that reminded her of light and goodness and home, and it was the color most present in her happiness moments. 

Red. 

She saw red when she first put on her cardigan as a midwife at Nonnatus House, the threads loose and soft from constant use. She saw puddles of red when babies were born, painted in a thin layer across their heads and staining the edges of their fingernails. 

In the army, which at one point was the only expression of her true potential as a nurse, seeing red was common. Men with surface level wounds and almost severed limbs limped to her aid and she disinfected and bandaged the wounds when she could, forced to watch men weep when the wounds were more lethal or irreparable. 

At the Black Sail, the place she will always call home, with the insistent chatter of patrons and smell of oil from the fish and chips, she’d occasionally see burgundy-stained fingers from the haughty red wine drinker who’d had one drink too many, or more commonly she’d see a thick, scarlet trail of blood run down a patron’s nostril if he’d gotten into a fight with another worker.

Now at Nonnatus House, in the middle of one of the worst storms Poplar had ever seen, red marked a new beginning. 

It began with the aggressive rapping on the large wooden door of Nonnatus House. Valerie rushed to the door in a hurry and threw the door open in her haste, frowning when a shivering red bundle greeted her. 

Her breath hitched slightly when she stepped aside and the bundle of red was revealed to be a beautiful woman with the warmest, most timid pair of brown eyes Valerie had ever seen. She idly enjoyed the glittering flakes of snow that caught in the woman’s hair and ignored the confusing feelings bundling in her stomach when she realized the woman was still outside, her teeth chattering and her arms encased in the small red coat she wore. 

“Come in quick, out of the snow. Do you need to see a midwife?” Valerie asked, shaking herself out of her reverie. 

“I am a midwife. Nurse Anderson. Lucille Anderson.” 

So she was the woman who’d been running late. 

All of a sudden, the bundle of red wool in the middle of the dark convent seemed less out of place as Valerie remembered that they’d been expecting her for quite some time. 

“Of course you are,” Valerie said, softly shutting the door behind them. As Valerie scanned her body quickly, making a conscious effort to look past her pink lips and heaving breasts, she noticed a skinned knee that stood out starkly from Lucille’s dark nylons and frowned. 

“And I just fell over,” Lucille said by way of explanation, and Valerie took her hand to lead her down the darkened corridors of Nonnatus House, careful to make her footsteps quiet as to not wake the others. Lucille’s steps were awkward as she shuffled blindly, but Valerie held her hand securely as she led her through one of the sweeping hallways. 

Lucille’s hand was soft, slender, and most importantly warm in her own as Valerie moved to get a small first aid kit holding the all-important germolene. 

Lucille Anderson, a name that Valerie quickly filed away in her brain after she said it, smiled shyly as Valerie cleaned and patched up her knee by the soft glow of the golden candlelight. 

Valerie felt her stomach fill with giddy butterflies that fluttered anxiously as she applied the balm to the skin of Lucille’s knee, but she somehow managed to keep a steady hand. 

“I’m so sorry,” the woman said, hurriedly explaining how she convinced the train conductor to let the passengers walk instead of staying stuck inside the train. The heat had been rapidly escaping the train car, and the windows were glazing over with cold. 

But as Lucille talked, all Valerie registered was the light sprinkling of freckles across her nose, the scarlet cap sat lazily atop her head, and the smile that could warm even the most frigid of hearts. 

Valerie tried to focus her energy on the still bloodied knee demanding attention as well as Lucille’s rampant storytelling, but she still found herself sneaking glances at the brown-skinned beauty sitting above her. 

She was absolutely radiant, Lucille Anderson, and Valerie was so screwed.


	3. Small photo shoot in front of a window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to photo: https://www.instagram.com/p/B9XFCwBg7nN/?igshid=8athaonp4tos

As the photographer and journalist for The East End Advertiser, it was Valerie’s job to document all of the comings and goings of the East End. There was something so magical about documenting real people’s lives, not washed-out, out-of-touch celebrities, or the different fashion fads that were sure to fade away in the background after a couple weeks. 

One of the journalists consulted the head writer and decided to do a piece on the midwives of Poplar. Valerie jumped excitedly at the chance to go back home, and she begged the man to take her with him. He looked at her skeptically but let her go with him anyway. 

Valerie missed Poplar, she really did, and maybe she could use a spontaneous visit to her hometown. She missed her nan’s pub the Black Sail, the smell of fish and chips and beer wafting through the old place, and she missed seeing her family. 

This would be good for her, she thought, going back. 

He specifically said that he was writing a story about how the midwifery at Nonnatus House impacts the people of Poplar and that he was doing a photoshoot of a couple of the midwives for the story. Valerie just nodded along, and when they met in front of the Iris Knight Institute, she had to hide a gasp from escaping her lips. 

The midwives who had agreed to the photoshoot--Nurse Franklin, Nurse Anderson, and Nurse Gilbert--were absolutely gorgeous. She looked over at her colleague, who was practically salivating at the sight of Nurse Franklin, with her red lips and long blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders, but Valerie’s attention was stuck on the shyer Nurse Anderson. 

Nurse Anderson had darker hair pulled up into a bun, and the warmest brown eyes she’d ever seen. When she sent a smile over to Nurse Gilbert, Valerie nearly fainted. 

There were so many things about her that were absolutely captivating, and now Valerie was motivated to do this photoshoot in Poplar for reasons that weren’t in the slightest bit familial. 

Her colleague had opted for a photo of the three women in front of the beige building of the Iris Knight Institute, where they held their weekly clinic for prenatal mothers every Tuesday, and he implored Valerie to do the close-ups. After a quick couple snaps of his camera, he let the women turn their attention to Valerie. 

God, she was so unbelievably gay, she thought, because no other subjects for photos, no matter how beautiful or handsome any of them were, made her feel so insecure, so watched, or so exposed. It was especially maddening to have Nurse Anderson’s expectant, warm gaze on her and it almost made her more frantic. 

“Oh, er, yes, right… hello… Nurse Franklin, could you stand closer to the doors of the Institute? No, a little more to the right… yes! Thank you,” and so the close-ups began. Valerie figured that it would be the easiest to start with Nurse Franklin, who seemed the most confident and the most like she knew what she was doing. 

It was surprisingly easy working with the blonde because she could banter back and forth with her like no other. “Alright, Nurse Franklin, one more shot and I think I’ve just about gotten it,” Valerie said, focusing her left eye in the viewfinder to make sure she had a clear shot of the blonde. 

Nurse Franklin was a natural model, because not only was she conventionally beautiful, but she held herself with a confidence and poise that many others had difficulty with. Her bright, gleaming smile and the looks of tenderness she gave the baby in her arms were perfect, and now she was simply holding the baby and smiling to the camera, leaning slightly against the door to the Iris Knight Institute. 

“And call me Trixie,” Nurse Franklin said in passing as her turn for close-ups ended. Valerie could only nod, her hands shaking with the realization that after Nurse Gilbert, Nurse Anderson would be next. 

Nurse Gilbert was like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day with her kindness and big heart. Valerie could tell that although she wasn’t as confident as Trixie was, she still had confidence in herself and her work. She also told Valerie to call her by her first name, Barbara, and she moved into the positions Valerie asked her to without complaint. As a result, the close-ups went without a hitch, and then it was time to photograph Nurse Anderson. 

Valerie took a breath to steady herself before focusing her gaze on the midwife. 

“Why are we doing this again, Trixie?” Nurse Anderson called softly, careful not to wake the baby lying asleep in her arms. Nurse Anderson seemed the most skeptical of the journalists’ work, and Valerie didn’t blame her. Considering what scandals and over exaggerations made the papers these days, it wasn’t far off to assume that Valerie could write something completely off the rails about Nurse Anderson and her colleagues. 

“To draw more attention to our clinic, and to remind people why we do what we do. Come on, Lucille, we’re so nearly there!” Trixie begged, and Valerie turned away to hide a grin behind her hand. Lucille was a beautiful name for a beautiful woman, but when her colleague called her name, Valerie focused her attention on Lucille--Nurse Anderson again. 

“Nurse Anderson, if you could stand by the window for me please,” Valerie said, not realizing how much her voice had softened until Trixie and Barbara shared a look with each other. Luckily, Lucille didn’t seem to notice anything as she moved to stand by the window without complaint, the baby in her arms wriggling slightly to find the right position in her arms but refusing to wake up. 

The way the sunlight wove golden ribbons through Lucille’s hair, the brown of her skin shining nearly golden in the sun to match, the amber in her eyes was coming through more prominently, and the beauty of her smile… Valerie couldn’t contain a giddy grin as she snapped the picture, appreciating every curve and angle of Lucille’s face. She was perfect. 

Lucille merely looked on skeptically at the brunette capturing her picture, ignoring the fluttering wings of her heart against her chest at the sight of her. She was absolutely magnetizing, and for a moment Lucille wished that she was the photographer and Valerie was the subject because then she could capture the wide grin Valerie held. But at the end of the day, Valerie was a journalist and for what paper, Lucille didn’t know, but the headlines on the papers were absolutely ridiculous. She could only imagine what these two journalists could do to her, Trixie, Barbara, and the reputation of Nonnatus House. 

“I’m finished. Thank you, Nurse Anderson,” Valerie said, and as she spoke, Lucille realized how close she was. Valerie was only a foot away, and it made the birds flying in Lucille’s stomach flutter madly. If she focused, she could almost see Valerie’s heart beating right through her chest, or smell the delicate scent of her perfume. 

“Call me Lucille,” Lucille said without thinking, her voice almost a whisper, and by the widening of Valerie’s blue eyes, she worried she had said too much. 

“Listen, I’ve seen your skepticism for us and our work. I know what you’re thinking, but I promise you, we wouldn’t dare villainize the work you do for the mothers and families of the East End,” Valerie blurted, and Lucille sent her a small smile of thanks. 

“Thank you, Valerie.” 

Next week the article was not only published but had made the front page. Even though Sister Julienne didn’t approve of the nurses doing the article in the first place, Lucille couldn’t prevent a small smile from tugging at the corners of her lips. 

Looks as though Valerie kept her word. 

She noticed a phone number near the bottom of the page for people to call if they wanted more information. She wasn’t on call at the moment, and there were multiple phones, so a phone call to try to hear Valerie’s voice wouldn’t hurt, right?

As the phone rang and rang, Lucille wondered if she’d made the right decision. But when she heard the familiar excited voice of Valerie Dyer, Lucille couldn’t help but smile. 

“Valerie Dyer for the East End Advertiser, how can I help you?” 

“Valerie? It’s Lucille. Lucille Anderson.”


	4. 1970 something…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is set five years after the Christmas Special (or, as I like to refer to it, Christmas Special Alternate Ending Part 1)
> 
> Link to photo: https://www.instagram.com/p/B-XpiWwgARJ/?igshid=ubozc1dxz8fs

Lucille couldn’t believe the amount of parchment that arrived at Nonnatus House one morning. Somehow in the year 1970 Nonnatus House was still standing and Lucille remained a midwife there. 

Trixie was there, too, but some of the other nuns at Nonnatus House shifted in and out. Sister Monica Joan passed three years ago from old age, and Sister Julienne took it hard. The only thing that they looked forward to that year was Lucille’s marriage to Cyril. 

She still couldn’t believe that she was Lucille Anderson-Robinson now. She still went by Nurse Anderson as a midwife, and it felt right. The last name Robinson always felt like a sweater one size too small--not tremendously uncomfortable but clinging too tightly to her frame as if afraid to let go. 

They needed a much larger truck if they were going to keep on with Nonnatus House’s mail, one of the mail carriers muttered to the other behind his scratchy beige gloves, stingy sneer, and sharp cough. 

Even Trixie was baffled by the number of letters that lay in the doorway of Nonnatus House. It was only a small pile, but compared to how much mail Nonnatus House usually received, it seemed more like a mountain. 

As Trixie started to dig through it, she glanced at Lucille questioningly, flickered her eyes back to the mail and back at the Jamaican midwife again. 

“What is it?” Lucille asked worriedly, assuming the worst. Things had been rapidly changing in Poplar, and Lucille felt ready to roll with any punches that life may swing at her. Well, as ready as she could be, anyway. She had a home at Nonnatus House, with the nuns, secular nurses, and even with Cyril, who gazed at her as if she strung the stars in the sky. She could take it. 

“They’re… all addressed to you. They’re from Hope Hospital in South Africa,” Trixie said, her voice filled with confusion. She picked up the large stack, letting the yellowing letters fall through her fingers before handing a couple of them to Lucille. The handwriting on the back looked familiar, she thought, but surely it wasn’t Valerie. She hadn’t heard from Valerie in years. 

For the first time in three years, Lucille went up the stairs of Nonnatus House, feeling the sturdy wood underneath her feet that helped ground her to reality. 

She thumbed open a letter, letting her eyes scan the contents quickly. They were all personally addressed to her, and when she saw the familiar signature with its familiar loops and angles, Lucille felt tears flood her eyes. She opened another letter, and another, and another. All of them bore Valerie’s signature, and Lucille didn’t know what to do or how to feel. 

She read through what she presumed was the first one, dated the day Valerie left Poplar. 

_Dear Lucille,_

_I’m sorry I left so suddenly. At the moment, all I need is space. Space away from Poplar, space away from the Black Sail, space away from everywhere that reminded me of Her. I know you’re happy with Cyril, I see the way he looks at you. You look at him the same way. I didn’t want to ruin anything we had, or anything you had with him. He’s a good ‘un, Cyril. I trust that you’ll take care of each other. Of all the midwives and nurses, I miss you the most._

_Stay well,_

_Valerie Dyer x_

The tears gathering in Lucille’s eyes made their way down her cheeks, yet she still thumbed through another letter. This one seemed to have been written shortly after the first. 

_Dear Lucille,_

_The nurses make fun of my writing letters that I never plan to send. They don’t understand how connected I feel to you when I write, it’s become almost therapeutic. I wonder what you’re doing right now, how you plan on celebrating Christmas. The annual Nonnatus House Christmas dinner is always exciting, it seems that Sister Frances and Sister Hilda are planning it? I’m sure it’ll be wonderful._

_I hope you’re doing well… Trixie called me against the wishes of my own and Sister Julienne’s, but it was nice to hear her voice. She says you got a new haircut and that you don’t like it. I’m sure you look as beautiful as you always do._

_Stay well,_

_Valerie Dyer x_

Lucille remembered the conversation she’d had with Cyril just outside of Nonnatus House. She’d folded her arms together and stared at the ground, trying desperately to understand why Valerie would leave so suddenly and without saying goodbye. Valerie would’ve liked her hair, she said as the flakes of snow got caught in it. Cyril just smiled down at her, telling her that she looked perfect, but it wasn’t the same. 

Valerie would give her that same affectionate smile she always wore whenever Lucille was around, the smile that made her feel simultaneously hot and cold and start a fire in the pit of her stomach that never sparked with anyone else. It wouldn’t matter what words would tumble out of Valerie’s mouth next, Lucille knew they would be perfect. 

There were still eight more letters addressed to her, but Lucille was only interested in the most recent one. She opened each of the other letters, looking for a date on the top right corner like Valerie had been accustomed to doing, and when she found one dated to last week, her heart leapt into her throat with the strength of an a-level gymnast. 

_Dear Lucille,_

_It’s been a couple years since I’ve written one of these. It’s been years and I still miss you. I don’t think of you as frequently, but today I had a memory._

_Remember the day we met? You scraped your knee, the train was late, I treated you with germolene. Everything was so different back then, so simple. You were a woman who needed help, I offered it willingly. I helped you the best way I could and I got attached._

_Today I realized that was the moment I fell in love with you._

_I know it’s wrong. I’ve been trying to go to church, trying to believe the things you believe in. I needed guidance from the Almighty, I still need Him to guide me. I can’t help but love you, Lucille, and not only do I feel these sinful things towards you, things I’ve never felt for any man, but I resent Cyril for being a man, for being so much like you that you don’t need me._

_He’s an amazing chap, I really do believe that. If anyone deserves the strength of your love, it’s him._

_But my heart still beats for you, my lungs still breathe for you, my voice still sings for you. I love you and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Today, I’m not going to try to suppress it, I’m going to try to accept it. I hope you do too._

_Love,_

_Valerie Dyer x_

The words Valerie wrote unlocked so many feelings in Lucille’s heart that she thought had been buried years ago, like yearning, love, acceptance, freedom. It made Lucille feel like a bird that had just been uncaged, spreading its wings for the first time, finally getting to just fly among the deep blues of the sky without having to succumb to the darkness. She loved Valerie too, from that very same moment at Nonnatus House that fateful night. 

She didn’t realize how long she’d been in the upstairs room until she heard the familiar gruff voice of Phyllis, softened in sympathy, “you alright, lass?” 

Lucille looked up and nodded, not trusting herself to say anything. And she found that she was, in fact, okay. 

She felt free for the first time in years, and all she needed to do was spread her wings and allow herself to fly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave a like and/or a comment! Reading comments and seeing kudos makes my day :)


	5. She's an Aries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to photo: https://www.instagram.com/p/CDb5CyygoOT/?igshid=lmbe938ladrr

“What’s her sign?” Trixie asked a baffled Valerie as they strode down the streets of Poplar. Valerie’s left arm was currently linked with Trixie’s right, while her left hand was somehow able to keep hold of all of her shopping bags. The breeze brushed itself through Valerie’s hair and blew strands of Trixie’s blonde hair in her face, but it didn’t affect the blonde’s curious expression, which was stuck awaiting Valerie’s answer. 

“I don’t know, Trix. I’m not as into all that astrological stuff as you are,” Valerie replied, and she thought Trixie would just shrug it off, but instead her grip on Valerie’s arm tightened slightly. 

“How else are you supposed to know that you’re compatible with this girl?” She sighed before continuing, “listen, you’re a Leo, right? So if she’s a Pisces, then you’re pretty much set up to fail.” 

Valerie looked at her incredulously, but Trixie pressed on, “look at her HER profile, sometimes people put their signs in their bios.” 

Valerie merely ran a hand through her hair and sighed at her friend’s antics. She loved Trixie, she really did, but sometimes her obsession with astrology was a bit much. Valerie didn’t really understand the merit of astrology, and even if she did, she believed in giving everyone a fair chance, even if a person’s astrological sign may not align perfectly or at all with hers. 

But even as she thought that, her fingers didn’t align with her brain. She took out her phone, looking through the bio of the girl she was set to have a date with that night, Lucille Anderson. Valerie took the time to appreciate Lucille’s dark hair, warm brown eyes, and shy smile before scanning through her bio, and when she found a mention of a sign, she sighed in relief. 

“She’s an Aries.” 

Trixie smiled widely and clapped her hands excitedly, or at least tried to considering the numerous shopping bags hanging off of her arm. “That’s good, Val! Aries and Leo tend to be very compatible, so I think you’ll be okay,” Trixie said happily, and Valerie didn’t know what else to do except nod in response. 

As the two women went back to Trixie’s house, Trixie dumped the contents of the shopping bags on her bed before turning back to the brunette.

“Listen, sweetie, I’m going to help you because god knows that you only have three different date outfits,” Trixie said, looking Valerie up and down and clicking her tongue in disapproval. 

“Luckily for you, we’re the same size so I thought you would try this.” Trixie rummaged through her closet for a moment, the metal of the hangars scraping against the closet pole as Trixie flicked through numerous ensembles. 

When Trixie finally finished her rummaging, she held up a medium sea green, a-line dress with a couple sections of fabric criss-crossing at the bust, while the rest of the dress flared at the waist and rested just below the knees. It was a beautiful dress, and after being coaxed to try it on, Valerie felt beautiful in it. There was a section of her pale chest exposed, it brought out the flecks of green in her eyes, and made the red lipstick on her lips pop, yet it felt too regal. 

“Trixie, this dress is too much. I’m not going to walk the red carpet, I’m going on a date,” Valerie argued, but Trixie just smiled in response. 

“You’ve been talking to this girl for what, a couple of weeks? Now both of you finally have openings in your schedules and you’re going to claim that this dress is too much? Don’t you want to impress her?” Trixie asked, and with a defeated sigh, Valerie acquiesced. 

“I guess so,” she mumbled, avoiding Trixie’s knowing smirk. 

“Now let’s stop fretting,” Trixie said after a moment or two, fetching a matching clutch for Valerie to put her things in. 

“Lucille will love you, Val. I promise. Remember what I said, Leo and Aries are very compatible,” Trixie called after her, and Valerie playfully rolled her eyes at the blonde before walking to the restaurant, which was conveniently down the street from Trixie’s apartment. 

Trixie was right, it seemed. Valerie asked for her reservation, and she had to fight a gasp from escaping her throat. 

Lucille was absolutely beautiful. But it wasn’t the dress she wore, which was the color of a marigold and hugged her curves, but the wide, beaming smile that lit up her gorgeous face like a Christmas tree. 

“Hi,” Valerie stuttered, and Lucille laughed lightly, making Valerie blush, before responding. 

“Hi.” 

After the initial awkwardness of meeting for the first time, they settled easily into conversation. Valerie learned that the accent in Lucille’s voice was Jamaican, and that she immigrated to London a couple years ago. Valerie told Lucille all about her upbringing in the East End, and how even though her family fought to make ends meet, she wouldn’t change it for the world. 

They talked about more trivial things, too, since they’d been talking a little bit through text, and Valerie felt herself smile harder than she had in a long while. 

Valerie had never taken to someone so quickly, and she knew she wanted to see this gorgeous woman again. Maybe Trixie was right: an Aries and a Leo did get along tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave a like and/or a comment! Reading comments and seeing kudos makes my day :)


	6. WAP until further notice…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! Here's a slightly racier Valcille oneshot to commemorate the occasion.
> 
> Also, the picture with this caption was promptly deleted a few days after it was posted, so I don't have a corresponding link.

The white light of the half-moon shone dimly on the two midwives as they embraced in the darkness of Valerie and Trixie’s bedroom. Trixie was out on a date with her boyfriend, Christopher, partially concocted to allow Valerie and Lucille to have some uninterrupted free time in a quiet, safe place where they were unlikely to get caught--that is, if they kept quiet. 

Wind rustled the trees, thin branches scraping the clear window panes as Valerie engaged her girlfriend in a series of pecks. She kissed Lucille once on the crown of her head before trailing kisses down her forehead, down the bridge of her nose, and nearing the corner of her mouth. Lucille found it difficult to breathe with Valerie’s warm lips so close to hers. Neither of them were ready to “go all the way,” but Valerie still wanted to worship Lucille the way she deserved to be worshipped. 

Lucille whimpered as Valerie pulled away, and Valerie smirked before reaching her fingers to tangle in Lucille’s dark, curly hair, coaxing the woman’s lips towards her own. Valerie finally gave in, pecking Lucille’s lips softly before pulling away again. 

“Stop teasing,” Lucille whispered, her voice nearly a whine. 

Valerie gave into her girlfriend’s demands, capturing Lucille’s lips eagerly before coaxing her mouth open with her tongue. Valerie’s hands moved to grasp onto Lucille’s hips, bringing the girl closer to her mouth as their tongues explored each other’s mouths. 

The feelings brewing inside Lucille’s stomach were indescribable: knots of anxiety twisted themselves together in her stomach before the touch of Valerie’s lips upon hers transformed the anxiety into a ball of fire, Valerie’s embrace being the match to set Lucille’s body ablaze. Valerie felt desire surge through her body as she kissed Lucille lovingly, tasting rum and hot chocolate as she explored Lucille’s warm mouth. 

After a while, Valerie broke away and began to leave butterfly kisses across Lucille’s jawline before latching onto her neck. Valerie sucked lightly on the skin of Lucille’s neck, enjoying the sweet taste of the skin there and savoring Lucille’s breathy gasps before trailing a flurry of kisses on the shy woman’s collarbone. 

Lucille had to remind herself to breathe as Valerie’s lips worshipped her skin, and she gasped when she felt Valerie’s teeth graze the skin of her collarbone before latching on like a baby to a teat, sucking lightly until a light purple mark was left on her skin. 

Lucille opened her mouth to scold Valerie for being so reckless, but as Valerie’s hands caressed her sides, warming the skin beneath the wool of Lucille’s sweater, the words tumbling out of Lucille’s mouth were pleas and short gasps rather than sharp demands. 

“Please, Valerie…” she didn’t even know what she was pleading for, but as Valerie tugged lightly on Lucille’s hair, further exposing her neck to Valerie’s warm mouth, she sighed in pleasure. Valerie moved her lips back up to Lucille’s, and Lucille savored the taste of Valerie’s vanilla chapstick as her lips moved seamlessly against hers. 

After that night, Trixie took it upon herself to give her friends as much time as possible together. Although she also went out with Christopher for completely selfish reasons, partly because Trixie felt some type of way around him that she hadn’t felt around anyone else, she loved seeing the bashful blush that would arise on both of their faces when she announced that she was going out again. 

They would smile that smile at each other, and Valerie’s eyes would become pools of moonlight looking lovingly at her girlfriend while Lucille’s blush deepened, travelling down her neck and chest. 

Lucille and Valerie also began spending time together when Trixie was around, knowing that she didn’t mind. For one, Valerie invited Lucille to sleep with her in her bed one night, and while Lucille was afraid someone would find out, Trixie assured that they wouldn’t, not on her watch. Trixie even toyed with the idea of switching rooms with Lucille, but Lucille remarked that the request would seem suspicious. Either the other midwives would think that Lucille had a personal vendetta against Phyllis, Trixie had a personal vendetta against Valerie, or the more watchful of their colleagues would suspect that there was more to Lucille and Valerie’s relationship than meets the eye. 

For instance, even though the Sisters may not think anything of the switch, Phyllis had eyes like a hawk. She’d know immediately that there was something going on between Valerie and Lucille, and although there was a chance she’d be receptive to the relationship like Trixie had been, the chance was very slim and the two women would be putting their jobs on the line if she ended up being more adverse to their relationship. 

Besides, Lucille liked having an excuse to cuddle with her girlfriend. Even though she wasn’t comfortable initiating kisses between them yet, she loved being the big spoon when they cuddled. There was something so satisfying about having the warm body of her girlfriend encircled in her arms, and though Valerie’s snoring took some getting used to, Lucille found the sound soothing as her heart pattered in an attempt to sync with the brunette’s. 

Although they tried as hard as they could to hide their relationship, Phyllis was no fool. As the shaking of the floorboards stopped, bending under the weight of Phyllis’s workout routine, Phyllis went to wake Trixie for her shift at the clinic since it seemed that Trixie had overslept, which was unusual. 

Phyllis opened the door, her eyes quickly scanning the room for the perky blonde, and she raised her eyebrows questioningly when she saw Valerie cuddled in Lucille’s embrace. Valerie’s head was tucked into the crook of Lucille’s neck, and their chests rose and fell in tandem as they slept, not yet privy to the sun’s beaming rays seeping through the thin gray curtains. 

Trixie’s eyes widened in realization once Phyllis shook her awake, her eyes darting from the two midwives sharing a bed next to her and back to the stern older woman. 

“Don’t worry, Lass, I’ve had my suspicions. Now up you get,” Phyllis said, anticipating Trixie’s worries, and Trixie scrambled to her feet quickly, relieved that Phyllis seemed to be accepting of their relationship. 

Later that day, Lucille and Trixie switched rooms, and although they had their own separate beds, Valerie and Lucille kept seeking out the comfort of each other’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave a like and/or a comment! Reading comments and seeing kudos makes my day :)


	7. 🎶Be sitting up in my (trailer) / Back here thinking ‘bout you / I must confess I’m a mess for you..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picture also got deleted quickly after posting, so there is no link to view this caption, either.

It all started when Valerie began making the nightly mugs of rum and hot chocolate for her and Lucille. Valerie took out twin yellow mugs from the cupboard and poured the hot chocolate mixture in before adding the warm milk and a tipple of rum, just enough to get the two of them pleasantly buzzed but not fully intoxicated. 

Lucille sent Valerie a small smile as she walked into the kitchen, sitting comfortably in the seat across Valerie’s with her hands folded in front of her. Valerie smiled back, feeling her heart stutter in her chest. She must’ve been distracted though because in the process of setting down her own mug and giving the other to Lucille, the mug in front of Lucille completely toppled over, the scalding liquid landing in Lucille’s lap. 

Valerie’s eyes opened comically wide but didn’t waste any time bringing two towels and some cold water to soothe the burn in Lucille’s lap. Lucille bit her lip to stifle the sound of pain threatening to emit from her mouth, and Valerie rushed to remedy the situation as quickly as possible. She dunked one of the towels in the glass of cold water before handing it to Lucille. 

“Lucille, I’m so sorry,” Valerie said, her words rushing out of her mouth, but Lucille shook her head, still managing to smile as she wiped the scalding hot liquid from her skirt and sweater. 

“It was an accident, Valerie, nothing to be sorry for,” she replied, her words coming out slowly as she winced. Valerie sucked in a sharp breath as Lucille’s next words came out clipped, her face blushing red in embarrassment. “I’ll just go change if you don’t mind,” Lucille said, making to get out of her chair. 

Before Valerie could stop herself, she lifted Lucille’s sweater ever so slightly, taking in the pinkened skin of Lucille’s torso and dipping the second towel she brought in the cold water before brushing the cold liquid across Lucille’s heated skin to soothe the scorching pain of the burn. 

Lucille’s breath caught in her throat at her friend’s intimate gesture and was almost disappointed when Valerie quickly pulled away, brushing herself off before sending a tight smile Lucille’s way. 

“You alright, chick?” Valerie asked, and Lucille nodded, unsure how else to respond. Valerie touched her skin so tenderly, and Lucille found herself wanting Valerie to touch her everywhere, kiss her lips, whisper sweet nothings in her ear… 

She shook herself out of those thoughts before going up to Phyllis’s and her room to change her clothes. 

To keep herself busy, Valerie hastily scraped together the pieces of yellow mug, thankful that the mug shattered neatly into six pieces so Lucille wouldn’t have to worry about stepping on any ceramic. Valerie threw out the pieces before mopping the floor of the drink, still eyeing the other mug of hot chocolate and rum. Maybe after her mistake, a cup of hot chocolate and rum was just what Lucille needed. 

Once Lucille had finished changing, eyeing the stained skirt distastefully, she opened the door to see Valerie standing sheepishly in the doorway holding the second mug of hot chocolate. 

“I wasn’t certain if you still wanted it, but I figured to make up for the accident…” Valerie held out the peace offering to Lucille, who accepted it gratefully, careful not to spill the liquid a second time. 

As both women went back down the wooden stairs of Nonnatus House, Valerie started to ask questions. “Are you okay? I hope the burn didn’t do too much damage,” Valerie said worriedly, but Lucille shrugged her off. 

“Valerie, it’s alright. It’s a very minor burn, that’s all,” Lucille said, and Valerie opened her mouth to ask to see the burn just to be certain that it was in fact a minor burn, but quickly stopped herself. She’d seen the slightly pinked skin of Lucille’s stomach, she knew she was alright. Besides, Lucille probably wouldn’t appreciate the invasion of her privacy, she’d been hesitant to allow Valerie to soothe the burn with the towel. 

The next few days were awkward, both women avoiding each other in fear of what the other would say. 

“Valerie, what’s going on?” Trixie asked one night as she fastened her curlers into her blonde hair. Valerie shrugged, but Trixie wouldn’t let up. “I know something’s awry with you and Lucille. You two have been avoiding each other for almost a week now,” she said, moving to her bed and lighting a cigarette, taking a slow drag of the toxic smoke. 

“I spilled something on her and now she hates me,” Valerie said, but even as she spoke, she knew how foolish the situation was. She spilled something, attempted to remedy the situation by soothing her burn, and now she was avoiding Lucille because she thought that Lucille was. 

“I don’t hate you, Valerie,” Lucille’s voice echoed from the doorway, and Trixie excused herself before hurrying out of the room. 

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” Valerie inwardly cursed at how meek her voice sounded, but she cared about Lucille’s opinion of her. She’s loved Lucille for as long as they’ve known each other and it’d absolutely crush her if Lucille thought badly of her. 

To her surprise and bewilderment, Lucille brought herself within a couple inches of Valerie and kissed her smartly on the mouth. As she broke away, Valerie was blushing and looking down at the wooden floor beneath their feet. Valerie looked up from the floor after a few moments into Lucille’s expectant gaze before leaning down to kiss the other woman, finally allowing herself to enjoy the warmth of Lucille’s lips on hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave a like and/or a comment! Reading comments and seeing kudos makes my day :)


	8. You gonna miss 2020? Nah. / Face it, Tiger...

“Lucille!” Valerie called, and Lucille got off of the couch and scurried to the kitchen as she started to smell something burning. 

When she got to the kitchen, she hastily stifled a laugh behind her hand. Valerie had opened the windows of their apartment as masses of thick, black smoke escaped the oven. Valerie frantically waved her hand to wave the smoke away and keep it away from the fire alarms. 

When Lucille asked what had happened, a dejected Valerie pulled out a blackened baked good from the oven’s gaping mouth. 

“I tried using that sourdough starter that Barbara gave us, but it’s way harder than fairy cakes. Maybe it didn’t rise enough?” She poked the blackened cob with her finger, and Lucille shook her head, smiling at her girlfriend’s antics. 

“Beloved, the oven temperature was set way too high. The oven temperature on this recipe was meant for Fahrenheit, and our oven sets to Celsius,” Lucille said calmly, pointing to the spot in the recipe and the parentheses around the temperature that Valerie missed. 

“Well now it’s ruined and I won’t have any freshly baked bread for my girlfriend,” Valerie pouted, but Lucille just laughed, giving Valerie an affectionate peck on the lips. 

“I appreciate the effort, my love. But how about the plants? Did you water them this morning like I asked you to?” Lucille asked, and when Valerie turned away from her, Lucille knew she hadn’t without Valerie having to say anything. 

“I forgot, I was too busy trying to make the bread,” Valerie said, and in an attempt to fix the situation, she grabbed the small watering can by the windowsill and quickly filled it with water before heading over to the small bookshelf that held their three succulents. 

The windows in the living room were small, but fortunately enough of the sun’s gleaming rays of light beamed through them to aptly sustain the plants. Due to London’s recent lockdown, Valerie and Lucille bought some succulents to tend to when they had the time, and Valerie smiled upon seeing the recent explosion of growth from the narrow leaves that up until that point had been slowly expanding outward. 

She watered them each sparsely, and Lucille hugged Val from behind while she did so. She laid a flurry of kisses upon Valerie’s neck while the trickle of water fell upon the plants’ green leaves, and once Valerie was done, she threw a small, giddy smile Lucille’s way before putting the small black watering can back in its spot by the kitchen window. 

It wasn’t often that the two of them both had shifts off at the same time, because although the coronavirus continued to surge rapidly through the UK, babies were still being born and Valerie’s schedule barely (if ever) coincided with Lucille’s, despite both of them being midwives. 

Life was hard and scary, but having each other made everything bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (She randomly changed the original caption of this photo, which is why this is more 2020 related rather than "face it, tiger" related)
> 
> Link to picture: https://www.instagram.com/p/CHinIwWhK2j/?igshid=x7kwtar1ljve
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave a like and/or a comment! Reading comments and seeing kudos makes my day :)


	9. A view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to picture: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIQ_ZUihYJM/?igshid=1fgf5o1y41klr

Poplar was definitely different than she expected a part of London to be. She wasn’t aware of the scale of poverty that existed in the East End before arriving-- families as big as ten to twelve people living in a two bedroom flat, often in dickensian, decrepit conditions where disease spread like wildfire and family members had to use an outside water source and outhouse to go to the restroom or get running water. 

She was especially surprised that the looming grey Canada buildings had been up for as long as they had. As Lucille was getting used to riding her bicycle, Valerie, an East End native, was giving her a tour of Poplar, the docks, and surrounding areas. Valerie pointed to the Canada buildings, which were supposed to have been torn down right after the war, but the elderly were unwilling to leave their dingy, cramped homes and move to another building. 

Although the windows were caked in dirt which allowed only a small sliver of light through, and the rooms were infested with fleas and rats, they were comfortable because they’d lived there for most of their lives. 

The conditions were appalling, and Lucille felt more like an outcast when she noticed the ease and grace the other midwives treated their beloved community. She didn’t turn her nose up at the sight of the worst of Poplar’s poor, quite the contrary, but it would definitely take some getting used to. 

England as a whole would take some getting used to, she knew. 

For one, it was significantly colder in Poplar than it had been in Mandeville, Jamaica. Lucille often found herself shivering at the slightest drop of temperature, and while Trixie would tease her about it, Valerie would laugh lightly and attempt to hand Lucille her coat. 

“Valerie, I’m alright, really,” Lucille would protest, trying in vain to hide the chatter in her teeth or the goosebumps raised on her arms with the slightest caress of the chilled breeze. 

Valerie refused to relent, however, handing Lucille her navy coat and walking around in her thin black turtleneck, her eyes still smiling as she glanced over at Lucille. Lucille felt a thrill go through her when she realized that she had no option to wear her friend’s jacket, and she didn’t know what that meant. 

Trixie offered Lucille her mink coat once, and Lucille had mock-gasped in reply, teasing the blonde, but she accepted the offer gratefully. That soft fur mantle was Trixie’s prized possession, and Lucille felt warmer and also slightly ridiculous with it draped over her shoulders. It was a favor from a friend, and she felt nothing but gratitude for the blonde’s generosity. 

But wearing Valerie’s clothes felt almost intimate, and Lucille enjoyed the smell of Valerie’s subtle perfume emanating from the warmth of her navy coat. It was already warm as Lucille slipped her shivering arms inside, having just been worn by her friend, and she burrowed herself further into her coat as Valerie and she walked back to Nonnatus House. 

That feeling she felt wearing Valerie’s coat dissipated slowly after, and Lucille didn’t think anything more of it until the first annual Poplar Beauty Pageant. 

It was meant to be a fundraiser and an event to bring the community together. Violet asked Valerie to enter, and the pleased flush on her cheeks from being asked made Lucille smile inwardly. 

Valerie made a beautiful view in her prussian blue dress and coral pink lipstick, both of which enhanced the natural beauty the brunette already held. Lucille stood backstage as she watched the pageant, her breath catching as her witty brunette colleague walked confidently across the stage holding a number nine proudly to her chest. 

Lucille felt the same pang of longing in her chest once Valerie’s eyes locked with hers, and while Lucille grinned in encouragement, Valerie’s stage grin subtly changed, the tension in her eyebrows softening as her eyes grew fond. It made heat flush in Lucille’s cheeks, and she thanked the combined effort of her skin pigment and the overbearing white stage lights to block the blush from being visible to Valerie. 

That moment made Lucille realize that the random feelings fluttering in her chest whenever she saw Valerie were more than platonic. It wasn’t sisterly fondness, either, and then Lucille had a realization that had her eyes widening and her body reeling. 

She liked Valerie romantically, but it was more than a stupid schoolgirl crush. When she was younger, she had a crush on one of the girls in her class, a girl whose toothy grin made her stomach do somersaults. Lucille didn’t ever talk to her, being the shy girl she was, but she remembered thinking about the girl constantly before focusing all of her attention on her schoolwork and forgetting about the other girl completely. 

This was different: Lucille tried to throw herself into midwifery, but as she burrowed herself tighter under her thick green comforter, thoughts of the brunette midwife would pop into her mind unbidden. With thoughts of Valerie came thoughts of sin, and if Lucille wasn’t on call or in the clinic, she was in chapel attempting to pray her sinful feelings away. 

Nothing worked, her love for Valerie was still in her heart, and one day, Lucille sighed in resignation. If the Almighty wouldn’t guide her out of the confusing feelings caged in her heart, then maybe they were meant to be there. 

Maybe they were meant to be set free the moment her lips touched the brunette’s in a burning, passionate kiss like those stupid romance novels Trixie hid between the springs of her mattress. 

“Lucille?” Valerie’s voice reached Lucille’s ears as she exited chapel, and she felt bad instantly when she noticed the insecurity in which Valerie stared at her feet and twiddled her thumbs. “You alright, chick?” 

Lucille nodded in response and the two of them proceeded to stare at each other for a few moments unmoving, both of them too scared to say anything in fear of rejection.

Finally Valerie broke the ice by moving closer to Lucille, whose breath caught when she noticed just how close Valerie had been getting to her. She could practically feel Valerie’s breath on her cheek, and she inhaled quietly, afraid a single movement would scare Valerie away. 

Valerie closed her eyes and leaned in, and Lucille waited breathlessly. Before their lips touched, Valerie whispered, “Is this okay?” 

Lucille closed the small gap between their lips in response, and Valerie responded quickly, entrapping Lucille’s bottom lip between both of hers as she snaked her hand to cradle the back of Lucille’s head, the other one stroking the soft skin of her cheek. 

Lucille felt herself melt into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Valerie’s waist to hold her in place. After both women pulled away, gasping for breath, Valerie sent Lucille a giddy grin. 

“We should’ve done this ages ago,” Valerie whispered, and Lucille couldn’t help let out a short laugh at that. She moved one of her hands to stroke the hairs at the back of Valerie’s neck, finally in the place she’d wanted to be for ages: Valerie’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave a like and/or a comment! Reading comments and seeing kudos makes my day :)


	10. ....speechless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to picture: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIWHEErB3Cd/?igshid=m883vi6n2e3b

No one was quite certain what prompted Sister Julienne to allow four male doctors in training to gain experience with the midwives of Nonnatus House, but what shocked everyone even more was that the four doctors were being permitted to stay at Nonnatus House… in Lucille and Phyllis’s bedroom. 

Valerie had been let off the hook. She didn’t really have to move anything at all, just make small adjustments for her colleagues like moving Trixie’s old stack of magazines from the wooden nightstand and moving the two beds farther apart to make room on the floor. 

What plagued Valerie more was the idea of having to share a bed with one of the other nurses. If it was with Trixie or Phyllis, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to her, but if she and Lucille were to share a bed, that would be the end of her, she was sure.

Valerie’s biggest secret was that she was in love with Lucille and had been ever since they’d met two years before. She vowed to never let her feelings be known once she saw Lucille exchanging affectionate smiles with Phyllis’s mechanic, Cyril, in the bright afternoon sunshine: she didn’t want to impede on Lucille’s happiness, and if it meant only being friends with Lucille, then so be it. Valerie wouldn’t stop being friends with the Jamaican midwife because of a silly crush. 

Maybe it was the Jamaican-inspired dinner Valerie planned for Lucille that one night, the way Valerie was always ready to defend Lucille against some of Poplar’s more ignorant white people, or the endless support Valerie gave Lucille before and after her dates with Cyril, but Trixie eventually put the pieces together. 

Trixie confronted Valerie one night about it when Lucille and Cyril were together, and Valerie was initially unwilling to say anything. But after some gentle prodding and a mug of Horlicks, Valerie found herself sobbing in the crook between Trixie’s neck and shoulder, tears pouring from her eyes as she spilled everything about her predicament. 

Trixie tried to reassure her, rubbing Valerie’s back softly and lowering her voice to a gentler volume, but Valerie wouldn’t hear any of it. She was scared, scared that Trixie wouldn’t be the only one to find out, scared that her job would be taken from her, and scared that Lucille would find out and completely detach herself from Valerie forever. 

So now that Lucille and Phyllis had to bunker down in Valerie and Trixie’s room, Valerie felt her heart thudding aggressively against her chest like a caged bear. Lucille and Phyllis stood in the doorway, and while Phyllis entered the room with confidence and heightened annoyance for the boys staying in her room, Lucille’s approach was more reserved, but Valerie noted Lucille’s annoyance in the stiff line of her mouth. 

“Here Phyllis, take my bed,” were the first words out of Valerie’s mouth. 

Phyllis didn’t want to steal Valerie’s bed, but all four of them knew that Phyllis wasn’t getting any younger and any support for her back would be appreciated if not explicitly admitted. Valerie could even detect the relief in her eyes as she gratefully accepted, and it made Valerie smile. 

But then there was the question of where the other three women would sleep. When Trixie offered Valerie a devious grin and volunteered to sleep on the floor, Valerie thought her heart would burst from her chest and her hands would sweat puddles in anxiety. Her shoulders tensed, and when she looked over at Lucille, she was looking bashfully away from the two of them. 

There was only room for one person to sleep on the floor, and that meant that they would have to share a bed. 

It was just her luck, wasn’t it, Valerie thought to herself before the four of them went about their days, each of them training one of the young doctors. 

Valerie and Dr. McNulty made a good team, she thought. Not only did he put the ladies at ease by being handsome in a slightly boyish way, with his slicked back hair and kind blue eyes, but he was very witty when he wanted to be and never failed to make Valerie laugh. 

Kevin, which was what he wanted to be called when they weren’t working in a professional setting, and Valerie worked together pretty seamlessly. The only thing that was off was the way Lucille eyed them-- she was working effectively with her trainee, but every once in a while, Valerie would catch her eyeing them with an expression on her face that Valerie couldn’t decipher. 

It confused Valerie to no end. 

When Valerie mentioned it to Trixie as they were cleaning up from the day’s clinic, Trixie sent Valerie a knowing smile. 

“It’s very possible that Lucille likes you too but understands the implications of what being with you would mean. She probably doesn’t want you to feel discouraged by the amount of secrecy a relationship like yours would require, because if you did like Dr. McNulty, it would be an easier relationship to have. It might be why she’s dating Cyril: he’s kind to her and makes her life easier,” Trixie said as the water from the water heater began flowing through the silver tap. 

Valerie was baffled at the near-essay length explanation Trixie gave, but it made sense if by some miracle her analysis of Lucille was right. Because at best it was a very unlikely explanation and at worst it stretched past the realms of reality, but it still stuck with the brunette midwife as she went about the rest of her day. 

And as nighttime crept up on Poplar, the darkness of the sky swallowing the bright oranges and yellows from the sunset, Valerie felt herself getting more and more anxious. 

_Lucille’s your friend, it’s nothing more than sharing a bed_ , the voice in Valerie’s head said in an attempt to soothe, but Valerie still felt like a ball of energy ready to burst. 

The feelings she got whenever she so much as looked at Lucille stuck to her heart like toffee and flooded her head like an overflowing river, making her mind blow this entire situation out of proportion. 

Valerie could have dealt with one night of this arrangement but knowing that this would be the new arrangement for a couple of nights made the anxiety in Valerie’s stomach knot together in a web of uncertainty and fear. 

For a second, she just stared down at Trixie’s bed. The sheets were ironed flat and a pristine white, and the golden comforter draped over the bed seamlessly. 

Luckily Lucille was out on call, so Valerie could relax for a bit before having Lucille’s body lying right next to hers. As Trixie plopped down beside her, she sent a sympathetic smile Valerie’s way. 

“I realize how nerve wracking this is for you, and if it’s too much, I’m willing to trade places with you tomorrow night. Just try, please? Lucille is the most comfortable with you anyway,” Trixie requested, and Valerie just nodded, pulling the cord of the lamp beside her to envelop the room in darkness until only the dim silvery light of the moon illuminated the space. 

An hour or so later the door opened and Phyllis slipped inside, her gruff expression full of wear and her hair pushed into tight curlers. She slowly and quietly slipped into bed and before long, her gentle snores were the only sounds reaching Valerie’s ears. 

Lucille entered the room a little while later, her body slumped over in exhaustion as she rubbed her eyes and prepared for bed. Valerie felt her pulse accelerate but tried her best to stay calm. 

When she finally felt the bed dip and Lucille slipped her body underneath the sheets, Valerie felt her anxiety melt away as she enjoyed the heat emanating from Lucille’s body. She still refused to move, though, and Lucille rolled over to face Valerie, who was staring blankly up at the ceiling. 

“What’s wrong, precious?” Lucille whispered, and she was so close that Valerie could almost feel Lucille’s breath on the skin of her neck. 

“I can’t sleep,” Valerie whispered, refusing to turn and face the other woman. When she felt Lucille move closer to her, Valerie finally turned and her breath caught seeing Lucille’s face so close to hers. She could even make out the swirling shades of brown in her eyes, the wrinkles around Lucille’s eyes when she smiled, and the small marks above her top lip.

Lucille placed a tentative arm around Valerie’s middle, pulling her closer, and Valerie struggled to breathe.

“Let me help,” Lucille whispered softly, and Valerie shuddered when her warm breath washed over her ear. Eventually, she let her body relax as Lucille held her and fell asleep quickly in her arms.

As the sun rose, beaming rays of orange as the sky painted itself varying shades of purple, pink, and yellow, Valerie awoke to find herself spooning Lucille, the woman’s slightly smaller frame curled in her arms. Lucille’s breathing rose and fell calmly, and Valerie found her heart melting at the peaceful look on her face. 

When Lucille finally woke up, her eyelashes fluttering slightly as she opened her eyes, she smiled fondly, noticing Valerie looking at her. Valerie gave her space to yawn and stretch before doing something reckless that could have cost their friendship. 

She pressed a soft kiss to Lucille’s lips, lost in the moment of the morning’s slow, sleepy bliss, and before she could open her mouth to apologize, Lucille’s lips pressed against hers again with an unspoken urgency. Valerie slipped one of her hands to cradle the back of Lucille’s roller-covered head, while her other hand rested on the curve of Lucille’s soft cheek. 

Lucille smiled brightly at her as they broke away, a flush covering Valerie’s face and neck, before placing a soft kiss at the corner of Valerie’s mouth, leaving the shocked brunette breathless and wanting. 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Valerie asked breathlessly, her voice nearly a whisper. Lucille’s smile merely widened as she nodded, pressing a soft kiss behind Valerie’s ear. 

“Of course, Val, it’s why I kissed you back, isn’t it? I like Cyril a lot, but my feelings for him were never romantic,” she said, punctuating her point by pressing another kiss on the crown of Valerie’s forehead. “I’ll tell him as soon as I can, Beloved.” 

Valerie felt the unbelieving smile on her face grow wider at the pet name that slipped from Lucille’s lips before placing a final kiss on Lucille’s lips and slipping out of bed, missing the knowing look Trixie threw their way. 

Valerie wore a giddy grin for the rest of the day, glad that she had taken Trixie’s advice and given her unusual sleeping arrangement with Lucille a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave a like and/or a comment! Reading comments and seeing kudos makes my day :)


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